YOU'VE SEEN ALL THOSE BODY SPRAY COMMERCIALS WHERE THE DUDE SPRAYS HIMSELF AND THE CHICKS ARE ALL OVER HIM? - THESE ARE NOT TRUE - No matter how much deodorant you spray on you, no chick will go bonkers by just the way you smell. Actually the more you apply, the stronger the smell is and the more annoying you become to those around you. If you have to use body spray. Spray once on each armpit for 3 seconds. NO MORE. As for women, they have a hightened sense of smell than us, they can smell it even if it's left on your t-shirt from last night. Best advice: Use an odorless (preferably non-alcohol based) stick deodorant for your pits and a nice cologne. Spray once on each side of you neck. Voila! You smell nice, sexy and most of all discreetly.
FLATULENCE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. NOT COOL - I don't care how proud you are about your ability to sing the national anthem while preparing for a bowel movement. I don't even care if they don't smell. When you are around other people don't fart. Especially in front of any woman, including your mother. It doesn't make you look more manly, it's not even as funny as you think it is. Keep those personal discussions with your ass for when you're alone or in the loo. Even when you're in the company of other men. We used to have this guy in the army who thought he was the next best thing because he could fart on demand. Keep your farts to yourself big guy, try to be a gentleman even when among pigs... Unless of course your farts are silent AND odorless. Then you are free to fart all you want. Same goes for burping.
OFFER TO HELP HER EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO - She'll love the chivalry and she'll take note of it, hopefully. You don't have to go out of your way and force her to allow you to help her. But the occasional offer of help here and there will do good things for your image. No you're not pussy-whipped if you help her. Least you can do is act like a gentleman and earn yourself some points for those times that you act a little more moronic and want to get away with it.
IF YOU CAN'T PICK A COLOR. STICK WITH BLACK - Let's face it, not all men have the ability to choose colors that compliment their figure and face (I'm one of them). When the time comes to go out, be it for a social gathering, a visit to an exhibit or clubbing, and you can't pick a color to wear. Stick with black, dark grey and grey. Yes, there is a slight chance you'll come off as plain and colorless, and it's in your hand to prove that clothes prove nothing with your witting repartee, but it's much better than wearing some lime green jumper or pink plaid pants you think suit you well and end up looking like an eccentric color-blind baboon. Tip: If you think you can pull it through, try white as well. It's an interesting neutral color and it might add to the whole attire even in the form of an accessory. - P.S I'm all for bright colors but only wear them when you actually know what you're doing. If in doubt, ask a woman.
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